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"Wouldn't it be so much easier and not a burden on my daughter who was on vacation and watching her mom sleep all day? And me not being able to go with her to the Barbie movie and stuff because I can't sit through a movie because my legs hurt too much. Just things like that," Applegate wondered aloud on her podcast Wednesday. "I think, 'What is this doing to her?' And that's where my heart breaks constantly."
Christina Applegate is getting candid her ongoing battle with multiple sclerosis (MS), and how it impacts her family.
On the latest episode of her MeSsy podcast, which she co-hosts with Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Applegate discussed a recent trip to visit her husband Martyn LeNoble's family in the Netherlands.
While recounting the family vacation, the Dead to Me, actress admitted that she sometimes wonders how the struggles of her ongoing battle have affected their 13-year-old daughter, Sadie.
"I've often thought it would be easier on everyone if I wasn't here, you know? That's a thought," Applegate shared. "Like, wouldn't it be so much easier and not a burden on my daughter who was on vacation and watching her mom sleep all day? And me not being able to go with her to the Barbie movie and stuff because I can't sit through a movie because my legs hurt too much. Just things like that. I think, 'What is this doing to her?' And that's where my heart breaks constantly. "
Applegate said she experienced a "strange superpower" while on the trip that motivated her to walk without her cane, something which came with its own pitfalls after that burst of energy resulted in a major lack of strength afterward, which her daughter caught wind of.
"She came in last night, I'd been sleeping since like 4 o'clock or something. Because since I've been home, my body's been like, 'Yeah, f--k you. It was fun while it lasted while you were walking, now we're gonna shut you down.' I came home and she came in and I was half asleep, and she just kissed me on my forehead and said 'I love you,' and walked out," she shared. "And I just started crying when she left because I was like, 'She just missed me.' I had been asleep for five hours and wasn't there for her, to make her dinner or do anything. I was just out."
The actress said she hoped listeners and could relate to her story, whether they're suffering from MS or not.
"It's hard not to be and I think anyone listening to this, who has this, I hope you all feel like we feel and just know that you're not alone and feeling those feelings of desperation," Applegate said before thanking Sigler, who too was diagnosed with the disease, for helping her look at the "positive side" of things amid this devastating battle.
"You have to let yourself feel everything," Sigler responded.
Applegate first announced her multiple sclerosis diagnosis in August 2021 -- a "potentially disabling disease of the brain and spinal cord (central nervous system)," per the Mayo Clinic. Sigler, meanwhile publicly revealed her diagnosis in 2016, though she had been actually diagnosed 15 years earlier, when she was 20 years old and starring on The Sopranos.
The duo teamed up to share their journey with MS on their podcast, which Sigler described as having the listener "eavesdropping" on their intimate conversations. "That's all it is, and to me, those are my favorite podcasts, where you feel like you just got to, like, somehow listen in on a conversation with people," Sigler said during the pair's emotional sit-down with GMA's Robin Roberts, last month. "There's no format, no agenda, no questions that were coming, and it's messy. It's for sure a mess."
While it can be messy, Applegate's ultimate hope is that listeners feel seen and heard, no matter what it is that they're going through.
"I've been playing a character called Christina for 40 years, who I wanted everybody to think I was because it's easier," Applegate added, admitting that she is opening up in a way she never has before. "But this is, it's kind of my coming out party. Like, this is... the person I've been this whole time. I was kind of putting on a little act for everybody for so long because I just thought that was easier -- be light, be funny ... don't make people uncomfortable. And I don't care anymore."
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